As she slowly opened her eyes, what greeted her was silence. Jimin woke up a bit earlier than she expected. She thought she would wake up late again, but today was different.

It was quiet.

It was empty.

She feels nothing, while at the same time, she feels heavy.

Her heart was heavy.

Minjeong.

She looked over to her side and reached out to get her phone, only to be disappointed. Minjeong didn’t send her any messages.

Aren’t they okay? She thought they were okay. Minjeong said they are okay. She then remembered their exchange last night. Minjeong’s words pierced through her heart.

“Jimin, I think...it’s time.”

“...I think it’s time for us to break up.”

“...it’s for the best...I got you into this mess because of my mistake. I...I don’t want to burden you anymore.”

“Thank you for everything.”

Is it the end? The end of them? No, Jimin, she tried to convince herself. Minjeong promised.

“I...I’m not leaving you,”

“I promised, didn’t I? I’m here to stay, by your side.”

Those words, she’s holding on to those words.

She knows that Minjeong had broken her heart and promise in the past, but she knows that the blonde girl won’t do that to her again. Yes, she knows Minjeong won’t let her down. 

She looked over her phone and reasoned out, It’s still early so she might still be asleep. She wanted her to text her. Wanted to be greeted with good morning, but then she realizes, is it still appropriate? They are not in a relationship anymore, is it still okay to continue the things they are used to? We’re friends now, so I guess it’s harmless. Is it?

She slowly typed on her phone,

Jimin (7:15 am): Hi Minjeong, good mo-

She immediately deleted it. 

She knows a simple greeting is not harmful, it just doesn’t feel right.

She’s not used to it.

She was used to Minjeong greeting first. It might come off weird if she greets her first now. She sighs heavily, I guess I’ll wait for her greeting first.

-----------

"Minjeong...Minjeong. Wake up!" The blonde girl groaned as she felt someone nudging her on her side. “Stoooppp.”

“Yah! Kim Minjeong, you are on my bed. Get up!”

Huh? Minjeong doesn’t understand what was going on around her. The texture of the pillow and the comforter blanket she was using was different. She slowly opened her eyes and blinked.

She wasn’t in her room.

She immediately felt a wave of pain on her head, “Uuuggghhh.”

She felt someone sitting beside her, “here.” She looked over to her side and saw her cousin, offering her medicine and a glass of water. The blonde girl slowly sat up and drank it, “thanks.”

Her head was still throbbing but the water definitely helped, “so, care to tell me why you were flat out drunk last night?” She glanced over to her cousin, who she saw had her brows furrowed, “no reason.”

“Really, Minjeong?” Yeri shook her head, “I think I have the right to know what the hell is going on with you, especially cuz I made you sleep on my bed.”

“It..was nothing,” it was then when Minjeong was able to look around the room, she was indeed in her cousin’s crib. She noticed the folded extra futons at the side, “Thanks, I guess.” She slowly gets up from the bed and goes to the bathroom. “Oh c’mon, Minjeong.”

“I have nothing to say, Yeri.” Her cousin immediately stood up from the bed and blocked the way to the bathroom. She gave the blonde girl a look, “spill.”

Minjeong sighed, “Yeri, please, I am not in the mood for this, okay? I feel like my head is about to explode and I just want to wash up.” Yeri looked at her for a minute before letting Minjeong pass, “You owe me an explanation.”

Minjeong rolled her eyes as she entered the bathroom. She knows that she will eventually need to explain what happened last night to her cousin, but for now, she just wants to wash up. As she cleans her face, she suddenly remembers everything that went down last night.

“Uh, how to say this,”, due to the alcohol the blonde girl consumed a while ago, she had the liquid courage to express her thoughts. “I...I enjoyed the kiss. I enjoyed kissing you. I mean, compared to other people I kissed before, I guess...you’re the best one. What am I saying?! But the point is...I got caught up kissing you,” she rambled her shameless thought before she could even stop herself. She mentally slapped herself.

“I understand.”

“You-you do?” Minjeong didn’t expect this. She expected Jimin to be uncomfortable with it.

“Yeah,” she hears the other girl sigh in the other line, “I feel...the same way.” Minjeong got tongue-tied. She wasn’t prepared for this. “Oh...okay.”

“So,”

“So,”

“What now, Minjeong?”

Minjeong wanted to speak her piece, but her brain couldn't catch up to what was happening, “I really...don’t know.“

No one dared to talk. This gave the blonde girl to think everything through. She remembered the words of her best friend and how there could be a possibility of them having feelings for each other. She knows that hoping for something that isn’t sure had hurt her before, but she can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, they might have a chance now.

Maybe it was the right time for her to confess. 

But before that, she needs to clarify something.

“Min-”

“The kiss,” she starts off, “why did you do it?” She just wants to be sure that what she thinks is right. That the clues she’s been seeing lately are real. That the possibility of Jimin reciprocating her feelings is real.

“As you said,” Minjeong hears Jimin speak, “it...was the mood that we were in.” What? No, she thought. Please, no, “I just got into the mood, it was nothing.”

Minjeong felt like she was splashed by the cold water of reality, the moment she heard those words.

Nothing.

The kiss was nothing.

The kiss was nothing to her.

It just felt nice to Jimin because of the mood they were in.

It was like reality slapped Minjeong on the face, Of course. Nothing's changed. Why did I think Jimin would ever fall for me? I’m too stupid, she thought. 

She was indeed stupid for thinking there was something more. This had happened to her before so what did she expect? She got influenced again by the words of her peers. Letting other people cloud her judgment. 

Never again, she thought.

She was devastated enough when she first got rejected, and now?

“Oh, okay,” She tried to hold it in. Her tears and pain. “That’s...good to know,” She forced a laugh, “it would be bad if it was...something more.”

“Min-”

“Jimin, I think...it’s time.”

She needed to break it off. She can’t do this anymore.

It was getting too much. It was too much for her.

The word nothing keeps on repeating in her mind. The kiss was nothing, and she needs to accept that. She was delusional, she also needs to accept her mistake. For believing in something not real.

She looked over to the mirror and saw herself crying over the memory. No, she tried to wipe her tears off. Now is not the time for this. She already drowned herself with alcohol last night and slightly exposed her vulnerable self to her relatives. She can’t afford it now, especially in front of her cousins. Get it together, Minjeong. Just get through the day. 

She washed her face again, to remove any trace of vulnerability from her face. 

She needs to be strong. 

She needs to act like nothing bad happened. 

Everything was okay. 

Everything will be... even just for a few hours.

-------

Jimin had just finished eating breakfast and was now in the living room, casually watching the television. She tries to put her focus on what she’s watching, but she can’t help but check her phone time and time again, waiting for a certain blonde girl to message her.

But there was none.

It was already past 10 and yet, no message.

Jimin was getting worried. Did she do something? Did she mess up? 

Her initial negative thoughts earlier are coming back again, but she tries to be positive. Maybe Minjeong forgot to turn on her phone again, like the last time, she thought. She was so grossed with her thoughts that she jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, “Aaah!”

“Hey, Jimin, chill,” Jimin immediately looked over her back, only to see Seulgi startled by her reaction, “sorry Unnie.”

“You’re a bit jumpy today. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I was just surprised.” Seulgi nodded in understanding, “Ah, I want to inform you that Joohyun and I will go out later, so you’ll be alone here.”

“Oh,”

“Your lunch is in the fridge, just heat it up and,” Seulgi poked Jimin’s nose, “you can also bring some friends over if you want to.” The older girl suddenly went near the raven-haired girl and whispered in her ear, “you can also invite Minjeong if you want.” Jimin’s eyes widened with this remark.

Seulgi chuckled at Jimin's reaction, “I don’t know what time we’ll come home. We'll just text you, so...enjoy!” And with that, Seulgi went back to the kitchen, leaving the younger girl flustered.

Jimin doesn’t know how to react. She didn't expect Seulgi Unnie to like that. However, her thoughts turned sour the moment she realized something. It dawned on her how she still needs to tell her family about it. How she still needs to inform everyone about the breakup. Oh crap. 

She can already foresee the future stress she'll be getting from her friends and family.

She slumped on the couch. She looked mindlessly on the television, trying to distract herself from her thoughts, but it was futile. She knows she will inevitably need to do what was necessary, but she doesn't want to. She sighed heavily.

She decided to look at her phone once again. 

Should she message the blonde girl? To come over? 

Nothing is wrong about it. Right? Friends hang out too, so it’s okay. 

As much as she wants to wait for the blonde girl to make the first move, she can’t wait forever. She slowly typed her messages for Minjeong.

Jimin (10:20 am): Hi Minjeong, good morning.

Jimin (10:21 am): Do you want to come over? And hang out?

The moment her messages were sent, she didn’t realize she was holding her breath the whole time. She doesn’t know if the blonde girl would even respond, especially after what happened last night.

She hopes so that she will.

She misses her.

She misses her so much.

She hasn't seen Minjeong ever since the kiss happened. She can still remember how the blonde girl stared at her, flustered after the kiss. She couldn’t decipher what was going through the blonde girl’s mind at that time, but based on the ramble Minjeong said last night, she seemed to enjoy the kiss. 

“Uh, how to say this...I...I enjoyed the kiss. I enjoyed kissing you. I mean, compared to other people I kissed before, I guess...you’re the best one. What am I saying?! But the point is...I got caught up kissing you,” She can’t help but smile.

But then, “I think it’s time for us to break up.” She sighs heavily. 

She looked over, once again, on her phone. Her wallpaper happened to be a picture of the both of them during her birthday. They were happy back then, just enjoying each other’s company.

I miss you, she thought as she touches Minjeong’s smiling face on screen. 

“I miss you, Minjeong,” she whispers, “I miss you so much.”

--------

“Minjeong!”

“Huh?” Minjeong was snapped out of her thoughts. “You seemed out of it. Are you okay?” Wendy asked worriedly. “Yeah, sorry.” She expressed as she continued to eat her lunch slowly. “I’m still tired from last night, I guess.”

“Speaking of last night," Yeri interjected, "why did you drink a lot last night, Minjeong?" Everyone's gaze was on her as she clenched her jaw. She hasn't really come up with a better reason as to why she got drunk other than the breakup, but it’s not like she’s ready to share it with people. 

She just wants to go home and rest. If she spills the beans now, a peaceful time at home will be out of reach. "Uuhhh…" 

"Who wants some dessert?" Eric suddenly spoke, "I think we have a lot in the fridge from last night." He looked at the blonde girl, "I think you haven't checked them out yet and they are a lot. Maybe you want to choose one for yourself." Minjeong immediately picked up what her older cousin’s boyfriend was doing, he was giving her a way out. "That would be great. I do think I need to consume some sweets to regain my taste buds."

Minjeong went to the kitchen with Eric and picked out the dessert she wanted to eat, "thank you," she expressed. "Hhmm?"

"For the save."

"Ah," Eric chuckled as he prepared the desert. "I know I'm new to this, but I guess I kind of got used to how the sisters move and their quirks." He looked over to Minjeong, "and it's also clear to me that you're uncomfortable sharing whatever your reasoning was."

Minjeong nods meekly, "my cousins are a handful, especially when it comes to issues and tea. And yeah, I don't think I'm ready yet."

"I assume this is about your relationship?" Minjeong glances over the older guy before looking down on her dessert, "don't worry, I won't push you to share." He pats Minjeong’s head, "but I guess you need to think of a lie to convince your cousins about it, or else they won't stop bugging you."

"I know, I’m trying to come up with something now." Eric chuckled, “make it believable to get them off your back.” This made Minjeong smile a bit, “Thanks.” He smiled sweetly in return, "no problem."

As they went back to the dining area, Minjeong was immediately bombarded with questions by her cousins. It was indeed a handful, but she was able to get through it through lying. "I wanted to bond with you guys, that's all."

"So you’re saying your girlfriend encouraged you to bond with us that's why you went to our table?"

Minjeong bit her cheek as she heard the word girlfriend from her cousin. Even though they were just faking it, at some point, Minjeong did treat Jimin like her own girlfriend. Now that she broke things off, she needs to get used to the fact that Jimin is now her ex-girlfriend in the eyes of her peers. She clears before answering, "Yeah."

"Well, that explains a lot," Wendy nods in understanding.

"It feels off though,” Yeri points out, "why did you drink too much to a point of passing out if you're supposed to 'bond' with us? You barely even talked to us last night. You just laughed along and consumed alcohol like it's the best kind of water."

Ugh, can Yeri just get off my back? "I lost track, okay. It’s been a while since I last drank. You know how I boast how I have a high tolerance, but I guess, after not drinking for a long time, it might have messed up my current tolerance." Of course, everything she just said is not true. The last time she drank was more than a month ago, and she was totally aware of the amount of alcohol she drank last night. She just wanted to go all out and be numb. To not feel anything, even just for one night. I think I'm getting better at lying these days, the blonde girl thought. She just hopes this discussion will end so that she can go home.

"Still-" Yeri wasn’t done and wanted to rebut but Wendy interjected first, "that's enough." The older girl looked over at the blonde girl, "next time, my dear cousin, be mindful, okay? I know I said to drink, but not the same amount as last night."

“Sorry Unnie,” Minjeong gave her cousins an assuring smile, "I will be more mindful from now on."

The discussion about her drunk escapade ended there and they were able to discuss other stuff, from family matters to whatever stupid stories their other cousins shared last night. Minjeong tried to be in the conversation and keep up but she can’t help but think about what happened last night. 

About what could have been. 

The what-ifs. 

Even if I confessed first, the result will still be the same, she thought, Jimin won't reciprocate.

Thinking about it makes her want to cry on the spot, but then she remembered she's not alone at the moment.

She looked over to her older cousin, "Wendy Unnie."

"Hhmm?"

"I think it’s time for me to go." She slowly got up from her seat. "What? Why? We're still having a great time."

"I wan